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Wednesday, December 14, 2011
@ 2:12 AM


I really, dk who can I talk to.
"You can talk to me!" or "S/he's the one I should talk to"
Yeah, I can talk to you you and you.
But, I'm not the type who would talk to whoever (regardless how close we are) about anything.
Just anything. I'm more of the kind that.. who's private?
Not that I don't wanna share with you.

And, on the OTHER hand, it's really hard for me to just start a random topic.
I just don't want any failure happen on myself.
Like, example, wrong timing? I did something at the wrong time perhaps?
How would I know if you ain't in the mood, and I started a random thingy.
It would be.. seriously a fail.

Well, actually.. I may kind of only dare to share something happened on me and person A.
But then, I've something in mind about what happened between myself and person A.
So I may share it with another person, B, who doesn't know A AT ALL.

And, another case.
I've known C. And D came into my life recently.
C and D doesn't seems to like each other, or one doesn't like the other.
I can't handle it steadily. All I can do is, I'm in the middle. I either support both, or neither.
And tell both of them what they should know.
Uhm. For the D, who I recently know, I don't say much. Cus I don't assume I know him/her well enough than anyone. I-DON'T-ASSUME-SUCH-THINGS. (One of the reasons that I stay almost totally silent the whole day with D(whoever it could be eg. new friends)

And sorry. Idk why, I'm feeling so bad right now. Although I'm just an audience who watches every single thing happening, I'm feeling bad. It's like watching drama, and I put myself in their shoes, and... Yeah.
Like today, I was chit chatting with a Friend. And hearing her story about her passed away uhhhm. Idk why, I just.. Yeah. She's strong. Really, strong. But, I know. She's a dummy. She's always good.

P.s I always "dummy" here "dummy" there, doesn't mean I'm scolding you dummy. But it's some kind of like... I'm a bit 心痛 or saying you're a kid/etc. Well, if you're being called "dummy" by me, I can be sure that you're loved.

不好意思。我现在是有点罗嗦啊。

I can ensure you, but remember, I won't say something that praises myself that's not true at all.

Once a friend of mine, it's forever.

Sometimes I really feel down when I thought of something I'm not included in your life.
Like, your past. I know nothing. I didn't been thru with you. Just, wondering.

Uhm. Actually till so far of this post, I'm not sure what I typed, so.. excuse me!

It's kind of embarrassing when I know someone's reading my blog.
So please, stay silent if you're reading ._."


Okay. To summarise all.
Go check the dictionary which describes clearly what an Introvert is.
:/ I've changed a lot, I mean, Improved myself a lot.
I was much more worse in the past.
I've learnt, I'm still learning, and I'm still gonna learn.
What you've been thru is... ...

You wished me to open up to you,
but I'm afraid you wouldn't open up to me after I'd open up to you.
给我保证?

Edited;Addons
原来我是很没有安全感。
不聊天就不会当那个最后一个讲最后一句话的人吗?
我想我也习惯被丢下了